Shadow Soul (Narun Book 1) Read online

  “Did your spying eyes not figure that one out?” I folded my arms in a statement; everyone ignored me. My emotions were definitely attempting a coup.

  “We haven’t known for long,” Tony said. “Camilla only told us because we kind of found out.”

  Leo let his gaze rest on me a moment too long. “Good for you, Rosebud, letting your friends close.”

  I gripped onto self-control like it was the pin holding the grenade. “You still haven’t told me what you’re doing here and why you lied to me.”

  “I did tell you,” Leo replied. “I was sent here to give you a message.”

  “What message?” Jill blurted, curiosity widening her eyes. She pulled away as I shot her a glare. My foot tapped the air furiously while Leo reiterated what he’d told me in the alley.

  “You expect me to believe they sent an Attacker all the way here to ask me to come back? That’s insane.”

  Leo lifted a shoulder. “Their purpose is not for me to know.”

  I started but snapped my mouth shut. There was some truth in what he’d said. We were often assigned missions with little explanations; our job wasn’t to question.

  “It still doesn’t explain why you lied to me. Where is your partner, anyway?”

  “Alright,” Leo said. “I admit lying wasn’t the best move. I guess I didn’t want to come across as a threat. As for a partner, I’m a Solo. You know not all Attackers are paired up.”

  “Then how come I don’t know you?” I drew my words out with purpose. Thick-skulled as he was. “You can’t be much older than me. I should’ve seen you around; we would’ve trained together, lived under the same roof. I should’ve seen you.”

  “We must’ve missed each other. Easily done with different missions. I’m a couple of years above you.”

  I rubbed my lips together, staring at my feet. I hated that my case crumbled. Maybe we had missed each other; he was an Attacker after all. Maybe I had forgotten a face. Maybe.

  I pinched the bridge of my nose, frustrated that Leo could see my defences were silk-thin.

  Tony cleared his throat. “Well, this has been intriguing,” he said. “Does that mean you’ll be leaving us, Milla?”

  I shook my head. “No. I don’t know. I—look, can you just take me home, please? I want to be alone.” I turned to the window to shake Leo’s gaze off me. After a moment, the engine hummed to life.

  “Leo, you’ll have to teach me some of that Kung Fu,” Tony said as he joined the road. “Milla refuses to.”

  “Sorry, Tony,” I cut in. “He won’t be staying.”

  I caught Leo’s amused reflection in the window I was facing.

  “I don’t think I’ll be leaving quite yet.”

  “Oh, you are.”

  “Don’t listen to her.” Tony flickered his headlights to make the temporary traffic lights turn to green faster. “You should definitely stay for a while. Right, Jill?”

  Jill lowered her chin as if feeling the burn of my glare on the back of her skull.

  “Fine, take his side,” I huffed to myself. “You have known him all of one day…”

  Tuning out the others’ conversation, I focused on the dark streets lit up by lamp posts and house lights.

  I was lightyears away from Narun when suddenly Narun came to me.

  My life as Camilla was nearing its end.

  Chapter 10

  Stupid alarm clock. I turned to my side under the duvet, in no mood to get up. The night had been a long episode of REM sleep: muddled dreams I didn’t care to remember. I wanted to forget about Leo and the message he brought. I wanted to ignore it and shut the world out of—

  I lifted an arm over my ear. The shrill alarm was a stubborn sort.

  Fine.

  I slapped the clock on its head. Whoever invented alarm clocks must’ve hated sleep. Or regretted decapitating their rooster.

  I kicked the duvet off, shivering as the chill air grazed my skin. If I finished at work quickly, I’d have time for a run in the park before my date with Tony and Jill. After all, I needed to get in shape.

  A hospital bed was a killer for fitness.

  *

  I paused at the coffee shop entrance and spotted Tony and Jill sitting by a square table, next to a large potted plant. Their heads were down, both focused on reading the newspaper sprawled across the table. A few menus lay on a vacant chair by Tony, along with his jacket—a new one, I noted.

  “What’s so interesting?” I pulled out a chair, eyeing the paper.

  “Hey, you—” Jill gasped. “Oh my word, your hair!”

  “I thought you were at work this morning, not the hairdresser’s,” Tony said, accusatory.

  “I cut it myself.” I flicked my newly-shortened hair and grinned. “Half an hour ago, to be precise.” Free-running in the park had reminded me how I’d always found long hair a nuisance.

  “It’s so much shorter! It looks great; no way you did that yourself!”

  I brushed my now barely shoulder-length locks. “Thanks for the confidence, Jill.” I laughed.

  “No, no, I meant that—”

  “That there’s no way she could cut a straight line? Or is that why you went for the choppy layers?” Tony shoved into Jill’s defences.

  “Funny. Can we eat? I’m starving.”

  “Me too.” Jill snapped herself out of staring at my hair. “But seriously, your hair’s great. It makes you look more—”

  “Like a hot ninja?” Tony quipped.

  “Stop finishing my sentences, Tony!” Jill elbowed him in the arm.

  I scoffed, amused, as they continued their couple’s bicker that was bound to end in a kiss, and grabbed a menu. A low rumble shivered the pit of my stomach as I decided what to have.

  “You guys ready to order?” I got up. “I’ll get this.”

  Tony and Jill broke off their smooch to state their orders. Jill lifted a hand towards her purse. “Are you sure you don’t mind…?”

  “Not at all, you guys pay for me all the time.”

  “I don’t think I’ve paid for you once, Mil,” Tony retorted.

  “Your friendship is all the gold I need, Tony.” I winked and Tony pretended to gag. Hair whooshed to the side of my face as I turned. I’d have to get used to that again.

  “Can I have a tray, please?”

  Two cups of coffee and a tall glass of water sat on the counter, next to a small vase with a wooden spoon with the number twenty-three on it.

  “I’ll give you a hand.” The voice next to my ear made me tense up, and then crashed me back to earth.

  “Oh jolly. There I was hoping meeting you had just been a bad dream.”

  “Happy to see you, too.” A cheery Leo leaned against the counter.

  I slapped his hand as he reached for the cups. “I got this.”

  “You can grow a third arm later, Rosebud, but Tony’s caffeine addiction won’t wait.” Leo took the cups. “By the way, we need to talk,” he remarked under his breath before walking to the table. Begrudged, I followed.

  “Leo, my man! That was a long phone call.” Tony moved the menus from the chair next to him. Tony’s jacket—I guess it was Leo’s jacket. They were trying to get us to get along. Or send me back home. Who knew if they even knew.

  I considered leaving but Jill caught my train of thought and pulled on my sleeve. Her eyes pleaded for me to stay. Surely, I could act civilised for the time it took to inhale an omelette. It should make up for acting like a spoiled brat at bowling yesterday.

  “Nice.” Leo pointed at my locks, his chin dipped. Something about his gaze threw me. “Close to how you used to have it, nearly as short.”

  I felt a flush of heat under the skin of my cheeks. “How’d you know I used to have it shorter?”

  “I’ve seen a photo, remember.”

  “Whatever.” Like that didn’t emphasise my maturity. From the corner of my eye, I noted Leo holding back a chuckle.

  “You used to have it even shorter?” Jill asked.

&nb
sp; “Oh yeah, she used to have it about yay-high.” Leo moved his hand back and forth in a line across his jaw before turning to me. “It suited you. Though I’m not complaining about this look…Fetching.” Leo grinned so wide I could almost count his teeth. A lot of pearly whites to knock out.

  Tony chuckled. “Mate, you’re poking at a bee’s nest…”

  I pulled a face at Tony and craned my neck to see what was taking the waiter so long. Of course, even toast wouldn’t have popped in the time lapsed.

  “Mate,” Tony leaned forward, folding his arms on the table, “you gotta give us some dirt on her. She never tells us ANYTHING.”

  “You utter one word—”

  “Yeah, and it’ll be my last.” Leo cut off my warning with a hurried tone, turning to Tony and Jill. “What do you wanna know?”

  “Leo, seriously—”

  “Relax, Rosebud.” Leo laughed. “To be honest, there’s nothing I can say. What I can tell you, is that she looks different these days. Skinnier for one.”

  Was that reproach I detected in his voice? How could he even tell that based on a picture? I didn’t recall my face being that chubby.

  “You have lost weight in the last few weeks,” Tony agreed. “Maybe I do need to start paying for your food.”

  I cast my eyes heavenwards and glanced over my shoulder again. “Where is the food?”

  “Hopefully here soon, or you might waste away, Rosebud.” Once again Leo managed to throw me; his tone and expression contradicted. Our eyes locked for a fraction of a second, and then Leo pulled his gaze away. Something about it infuriated me, and I downed several violent gulps of water.

  “A question, bro: why do you keep calling her ‘rosebud’?” Tony asked. “I get that you’re trying to get on her good side but flattery ain’t going to tame this one. Trust me.”

  “Why don’t you ask Camilla?”

  “Me? What makes you think I know the workings of your degenerate brain?”

  Leo looked at me slightly baffled, for once lost for words. He faked a cough and resumed his aloofness. “I think it’s the resemblance. Tall, skinny… prickly.”

  Tony swallowed his laughter; Jill made sure of it by kicking his shin.

  I’d had about enough. I got up, about to excuse myself to the bathroom when Leo let out a dry laugh.

  “Running away again?” His voice rang harshly for once. I swallowed, about to set him straight when he continued, “We all know that’s what you’re good at.” He examined me openly as Jill gasped and Tony choked on his drink.

  My posture rose as my lungs widened with air. “What game are you playing, Leo? I’m sure befriending the locals wasn’t part of your mission.”

  “You know why I’m here. We can do this the easy way or the hard way, but I’m not leaving without you.”

  Locked in a battle of wills, I took a step towards him, ignoring the other customers openly watching our show-down. “Why do they want me back on the Guard?”

  “I told you: I don’t know,” Leo said. “You’ll have to find out for yourself.”

  “I don’t believe you. There’s no reason for them to send you to find me.”

  “Really?” Leo lifted his chin. “Are you sure about that?”

  His question was like a kick in the stomach and I recoiled, unable to stop myself. My front broke only for a second but it didn’t escape him. He knew he’d gotten under my skin.

  “You don’t know anything.” I made my exit and disappeared into lunchtime traffic.

  *

  I approached him, my heart racing to a destiny I could not yet see. He was familiar and secure to me. It couldn’t have been anyone else.

  I was relieved. I was ecstatic. He was my friend and now he was officially my partner.

  He was with me for life.

  He nudged his head towards the door and I followed him out of the hustle and bustle of the common room and into the weapons’ storage.

  “You and me, lass,” he said, pressing the door shut behind me. “How do you feel?”

  “Good.” I smiled. “At ease.”

  He returned my smile. I had always known he’d be there for me, ever since he started taking my side at training when he saw the others were wary of me. Ever since he’d started whispering encouragements in my ear. And ever since he realised my gift was overwhelming me, he’d been there to catch me.

  He knew me.

  The Elders were right. I needed him.

  Chapter 11

  The phone vibrated in my pocket. I couldn’t muster the will to talk to Tony, much less get into what the episode in the café had been about.

  I sat at the edge of the pier, legs swinging back and forth, one at a time, as the waves of the sea mesmerised me. The sun caused the surface to sparkle but failed to warm the air. Thoughts were trying to knock themselves through into conscious sentences. I’d have to give in at some point, and I’d have to talk to Leo, find out if there was more to his message.

  Meanwhile, I’d happily cling on to oblivion, stagnation, and ignorance like they were the only lifeboat on a sinking ship.

  Another vibration tickled my thigh. I pursed my lips, moving them from side to side. I should let Tony know I was fine. After all, I was fine. Fine, fine, fine. If only Leo had never shown up. Everything had fallen into place, and then he had to ruin it by presenting me with a no-win choice. If I returned and they pardoned me for leaving, and let me re-join the Guard, how could I face my friends and family after what I’d done? How could I serve as Guard when everything reminded me of him? Even if they didn’t know about what I’d done, how could I be the warrior they presumed me to be when I knew that not only was I not a warrior, but I wasn’t even the hero of the story?

  I raised my arms to lean on the rail above my head. My forehead soon found rest in my arms.

  There was no reason to go back.

  Except for the proverbial but. If I didn’t return, I’d be disobeying an order; this was my last chance for a pardon. I’d officially be cast out, never able to return, never to see my family, my home… I’d have no purpose, no destiny, nothing left to live for. I would’ve let the King and my people down. I would’ve let him down. I deserved to live under the curse of a Blood Debt, but bringing shame on my family…

  No-win.

  Oh, for crying out loud. I slapped my palm to my temple. I needed a distraction. Before I talk to Leo I won’t be making any life-altering decisions anyway. I pulled out my phone, and replied to Tony’s text, agreeing to meet him.

  “My phone—Someone’s taken my phone!”

  I glanced behind and to the side of me. A girl close to my age swivelled around, looking at the people around her, her hands digging in and out of her pockets. A group of people—seemingly her friends—motioned with their hands in jerky movements. I scanned the line of curious observers and whipped my head to the few guys walking down the pier. It wasn’t hard to pick out the offender—hands in pockets, hasty steps and complete disregard to the commotion behind him.

  I leapt up and anticipated the guy’s path. I vaulted over a set of benches and stopped to wait behind a parked ice cream van.

  “Hand it over, mate.” I grabbed the guy’s arm as he passed me and slammed him against the van.

  The guy, visibly taken back, shook my hand off his arm. “What you on about?”

  “The phone you stole. Give it here and I’ll let you off with a warning.”

  The young Rebel-Without-a-Cause swore and flicked a pocket knife at me.

  “Cute. Did it come with a fork?” I pointed at the knife, and as he lifted his hand up, I struck my wrist against his, simultaneously smacking my other arm on the base of his neck. I rotated my arm behind him, pulled, driving the hand with a knife further away, and finished him with a knee jab to his groin. As he dropped to his knees with a groan, I picked up the stolen, glitter-covered phone from his pocket.

  “Make this the last time. Okay, mate?” I gave him a final look and jogged over to give the phone back to its owner.<
br />
  “Oh my gosh, where did you find it?” the girl shrieked in relief, worry melting from her face.

  “Found it on the ground. Near the van.”

  “Oh, I must’ve dropped it earlier” —the girl brought her palms up to her cheeks— “I thought someone stole it!”

  I smiled dismissively as she thanked me and left the girl with her friends. As I was two paces away from her, a hand brushed my elbow.

  “Hey, you’re Camilla, right?” A guy with shaggy, honey-coloured hair faced me, his fingers tapping his thigh. His eyes were light blue like the sky.

  “Do I know you?”

  “Not really,” he laughed softly, “I’m Sebastian. We share a lecture on Thursdays, Professor Richmond’s.”

  I met his extended hand. His face carried a familiarity. “Oh, right, yes. Four hours of Richmond.” I winced.

  “Tell me about it.” He widened his eyes playfully. “Anyway, I just wanted to say hi, and thanks for returning my sister’s phone.”

  I mouthed a ‘Hi’ and waved mechanically.

  “So” —Sebastian took an awkward step back— “I’ll see you on Thursday, I guess.”

  I nodded and walked off. Tony awaited.

  The familiar block of apartments towered in front of me. Tony buzzed me in and I jogged up the three flights of stairs to his flat. His door waited for me ajar; the familiar man-flat fragrance hit me as I stepped in. The two weeks I had crashed on Tony’s couch had made it feel like a second home. A lot of good memories.

  Tony wrapped me into a bear hug upon entry.

  I scrambled out of it. “I’m fine. Stop overreacting.”

  Jill lounged on the couch, resting on her elbow. She put down the magazine she was reading.

  “I shouldn’t have invited Leo today.” Tony scrunched his face. “My bad.”

  “Got that right. Maybe a lesson for next time?” I slapped his arm, and sat down next to Jill, pulling my legs underneath me.

  “I still think you’d make the perfect couple. You’ll see.” Tony sat on a bean bag opposite us, a grin not far from his lips.