Shadow Soul (Narun Book 1) Page 8

“I knew you weren’t that sorry.”

  Tony stretched his arms behind him, and I declined Jill’s offer for a drink, soon regretting the decision as an uncomfortable silence fell in the room.

  “What’s up with you two?” I narrowed my eyes as Jill and Tony glanced at each other. Tony nudged his chin towards Jill.

  “Okay,” she said in her usual wary style. “Here’s what we think. Although we understand—”

  Tony huffed, lifting a hand. “You’ll hear it straighter from me: Leo was out of line, but so are you. The ‘avoiding everything’ act is getting a little old. We like you but this ‘buddies’ thing works both ways. So, in threat of sounding like a girl, you have to start opening up and trusting us.”

  Huh. I rubbed my face and left my fingers to trace my mouth.

  “Try seeing it from our point of view,” Jill suggested. “You’re saying the world as we know isn’t the world as we know it after all and then—then we’re just left with no right to ask any questions.”

  I rolled my bottom lip out and back again. Guess I wasn’t the only one with a lot on their mind. “You’re right. What do you wanna know?” I looked at Tony under my brows. “Don’t wait too long or I’ll change my mind,” I added, smiling a little.

  “Start by telling us what Narun is like,” Jill said coyly.

  I gripped my legs tighter, a vision of home filling my mind. Whenever my thoughts flew home, I first pictured a bird’s eye view of the land, followed by an image of the long corridor leading up to the inner courtyard in the palace.

  “It’s beautiful.” The gulp was louder than anticipated. “Nothing like this concrete jungle. Nature has a freedom to it, a wildness. Green hills, rivers, lakes and plenty of fertile land. Our people value the land, so we take care of it. And it’s peaceful—quiet, you know.”

  “No cars and hence no pollution must help, eh?” Tony dug himself deeper into the bean bag. It took me a moment until the penny dropped.

  “Leo. He’s already told you some things, hasn’t he?”

  “He is a lot more cooperative than you, little missy,” Tony said, unapologetic.

  I shook my head in disbelief. “You’ve known him, what, two days?” Had it really only been that? Leo seemed like part of the furniture, like an old heirloom coffee table that had no other purpose than to trip you over.

  “Like I said,” Tony repeated, “he’s a lot more open.”

  “But we don’t know anything about you.” Jill’s statement hardly took me by surprise. Of course, they weren’t after a geological overview. Who was?

  “Well, as you know” —I hugged my arms, wishing I’d brought a hoodie— “I was part of the Royal Guard. You don’t choose to join; you’re chosen or destined for it, if you like. When a child is born, the Elders, Wa-Elah, lay hands on the child to see if they have a special calling and whether they will become Guard. If yes, the child stays with their parents until they’re six. Then the parents bring the child over to the Inner City where they’ll take an oath and are trained.”

  “Wow. That’s harsh,” Tony blurted.

  “Yeah, being taken away from your family so young.” Jill scrunched her nose. “That must be tough on the parents, and the child! What if you don’t want to be part of the Guard?”

  Not off to a great start here. “No, no, it’s not like that. It’s an honour. Only a few are chosen. Plus, your family can visit whenever.” Neither of them looked convinced. “Look, training and being Guard is great. It’s not some army drill camp; it’s a family and a lifestyle. Then when you’re around eight you’re partnered up with a suitable fighting partner and when considered ready, you move on to active duty.”

  “Child marriage?” The size of Jill’s pupils made me laugh.

  “No! No, you’re getting it all wrong! You don’t get married; you’re paired with your fighting partner. You train together, get to know each other. The reason it’s so young is so you’ll know each other in and out. It makes it safer for both of you. I mean yeah, eventually when you have served your term, whatever length it is, you’re given the choice to marry and settle down for a family. But no, Tony, there’s nothing dodgy going on.”

  Judging from Tony’s expression, and the pillow that hit his face by Jill’s hand, I had guessed his train of thought correctly.

  “Just checking.” He lifted his hands up in defence.

  “What if you don’t like the person? Who makes the decision, anyway?” It wasn’t hard to see Jill struggled with the concept. I didn’t expect them to understand. They had grown up with a different set of beliefs.

  “The Elders have the final say; many of them have the gift of foresight. Although it often happens naturally. I’ve not known of anyone who hasn’t got on with their partner. If it’s meant to be it’s meant to be.”

  “You said each ‘couple’” —Tony quoted the air with his fingers— “serve a length of a term before they retire—how long?”

  “There’s no set time. You move on when it feels right. Some have served only a few years due to injuries, some over thirty. Oh, by ‘serving’, I mean being on active duty. After, you move onto other roles, usually within the palace.”

  Tony feigned interest in the ceiling tiles and Jill fiddled with a cushion. I waited for the information to absorb.

  “What’s the training like then?” Tony asked after a moment.

  “Took you long enough to ask.” I cracked my neck gently. “And again, I can’t, and I won’t tell you.” Tony turned on his puppy eyes. “Sorry,” I added, not feeling sorry at all. “Code of Honour, top secret stuff, classified. You get the drill.”

  “Come on, it’s not like you’re there anymore,” he persisted.

  “That’s where the ‘won’t’ comes in.” Now the pillow flew towards me. I placed it on my lap.

  “You’re such a bore.” Tony crossed his arms on his chest. “Leo doesn’t have a problem in complying.”

  That’s because he’s probably playing you.

  “You’ve really hit it off with him, haven’t you?” I said. “How have you even had the time?”

  “Bromance,” Jill whispered to me, shaking her head.

  “He stayed over last night. He’s cool. We clicked,” Tony explained.

  “You don’t even know him. He could be trouble.”

  “You should give him a chance. He might be your ticket into forgetting this guy you lost.”

  I was standing before my mind registered it. “He wasn’t just ‘some guy’! And I could never forget him, especially over someone as obnoxious as Leo!” I stomped to the door, opened it, and slammed it shut in front of me. The epiphany hit as I faced the closed door. Jill whispered something behind me.

  I touched my forehead on the door. “Leo was dead on the money after all; I do keep running away.” I looked down at my palms, rubbing my fingers together. What was going on with my temper these days?

  Finally, I lifted my chin. “Tony, can you get a hold of Leo? I need to speak with him.”

  Chapter 12

  The knock hardly came as a surprise. After I’d booted Jill and Tony out—from his own flat—I’d barely blinked my eyes off the window. It had taken Leo less than a minute to reach Tony’s front door after entering the building.

  Twice, I ran my fingers through my hair before opening the door.

  I scanned Leo’s frame from the tip of his black trainers, along his dark jeans, passing his navy jacket, and set my focus on his eyes. There wasn’t much to be found in them. In fact, his exterior was as mine: it didn’t give anything away.

  “Are you going to invite me in?” A brief smile broke his sculpted face.

  “I’m still debating.” I walked away from the door.

  There was a delay in Leo’s steps before he closed the door. “You alright?”

  “Do you care?” He brought it out of me so easily.

  “If you’re looking for another scrap, I think we’ve filled our quota for the day.”

  “Sorry.” I faced him, folding my
arms. “I didn’t ask you here to fight.”

  Leo stood tall near the sofa, easily demanding attention from the simply decorated flat. “Look, Camilla,” he rubbed his eyebrow with his thumb, “I’m sorry about this morning. I was out of line.”

  I blinked twice, indifferent. His posture matched mine and briefly, he looked as off-put as I did. He held my gaze for a couple more seconds, and then there was the grin. The next moment, he threw himself on the sofa and picked up the magazine Jill had been reading earlier.

  “Let me know when you’re ready to talk.” He lifted the magazine so it hid his face.

  I stepped towards him, about to snatch the tabloid from him, when he slid to the side, out of my grasp. I pressed my palm against the back of the sofa to correct my balance, and quickly straightened up.

  “You’re too predictable, and my reflexes are better than yours.” He stood up and tilted his head in thought. “It’s like you haven’t even figured out what I’m not so good at.”

  “How, and why, would I do that?”

  “That’s your gift, isn’t it? Knowing what weaknesses people have? I thought it was more of an autopilot thing than a conscious decision.” Leo picked up a squash ball from the bookshelf, tossed it in the air, and placed it back on the shelf. “Or then you’re working really hard on tuning it out.”

  I flushed, much to my annoyance. “How do you know that?”

  “Give me some credit.”

  My lip ached from biting it so hard as I tried to focus on the reason I’d asked him to come. The sooner we’d talk, the sooner he would leave.

  “I want the truth, Leo,” I said. “That’s why I asked you to come. Why did they really send you and what do they want with me?”

  Leo straightened his back, stretching his spine, and defaulted to his relaxed stance. Hesitation flickered in his eyes.

  “Leo. Please. If I’m going to consider coming back, I need to know the facts.” I lowered my defences further. Although, I was starting to realise he’d see through me even if I was I made of concrete.

  Leo sat down on a wooden chair on the other side of the room—elbows resting on his knees, palms together. He looked at the space between us, and then lifted his eyes to meet mine. He was even more confusing to read when he tried to be genuine.

  “As you wish. I’ll give you the whole truth if you answer one question. Truthfully.”

  How bad could one question be?

  “Why did you really leave Narun?”

  Unless it was that question. I had no doubt he could see the slight twitch on my cheek. I stifled the urge to fidget.

  “I don’t see why that makes a difference but fine,” I spoke breathlessly. “My partner was killed on a mission and there was no reason for me to stay.” The steady tone deserved applause, but I failed to draw my eyes off the floor.

  Leo clicking his tongue made me finally glance at him. “Now that’s not the whole truth, is it?”

  “What makes you—”

  “Because I know the truth.” Leo stood up, matching my risen tone. “And that’s not the whole truth.” He paused. “Kalika.”

  There was a fine line between letting your legs give in and telling them to do so. Whatever the case, I found my knees folded underneath myself on the wooden floor. It wasn’t so much a spin my thoughts were in, more of a scramble. I trusted my ears to have heard correctly. That wasn’t the problem. The problem was, it was too late to un-hear it.

  “Are you okay?” He was actually concerned. That meant my face reflected the shock sinking in from the mention of my name. It had been too long since I had heard it; it carried too many memories with it.

  I lowered my chin into a nod. It never quite made it back up again.

  “Did you really think I didn’t know your real name? They do tell you the basics when you’re tracking someone.” Leo was trying to lighten the mood but the emotion behind it translated ingenuine. “Why else do you think I call you ‘rosebud’? That’s what your real name means, Kalika.”

  “Stop saying it! That’s not me anymore.”

  “And Camilla is?” he scolded.

  “Yes.” I forced myself back to my feet to distract him from my shaky words. Leo followed suit; I hadn’t even registered when he’d knelt in front of me. Instinctive, I backed a few steps.

  “Why are you doing this to yourself?” Leo asked with a softer tone. “You’re not running away from Narun; you’re running away from yourself.” He paused, indecision making him choose his words carefully. “It kills me to see what you’ve done to yourself.”

  My chest suddenly felt heavy. He doesn’t know me. “Why would you care? You don’t know me from the next girl! You’re a Tracker, Attacker, whatever. Why should you care?”

  “Because” —Leo rubbed his head as if fighting off a migraine— “you’re one of us and we take care of our own. And I don’t want to see you hurt.”

  “If you haven’t noticed, I’m fine.” If only the tremble in my chin would agree.

  “Argh! You’re so stubborn, Kalika! You’re withdrawing yourself as you can’t bear to face the facts. Stop running away from every—”

  “I am not running away,” I cut in harshly, pointing a finger to the floor. “I’m starting a new life. Is that so hard to believe?”

  Leo looked at me as if I’d just declared I was made of cheese.

  “A new life? Which number of a ‘new life’ is this then? Wasn’t cage fighting, jumping off cliffs, and putting yourself into a coma a fascinating enough life? Huh?” I pictured Leo’s imaginary hands shaking me. “You want to start again? Jump out the window and tomorrow you can be Casey or Carol or Cassandra. How about it? Anything to avoid being you. Isn’t that how it works?”

  As his stare eased on me for a second, I took a step forward and pretended to stumble. Leo caught me by the arm; I used the distraction to floor him. Air squeezed out of his lungs on impact with the laminate flooring. The same instant, I pounced on top of him, pressing his good arm with my foot, holding the other down on his chest. Livid, I narrowed my eyes on him as he recovered from the blow. A small tugging underneath my foot made me apply more force on his arm. It didn’t take long until I felt his muscles relax. A victorious smile spread on his lips.

  I restrained the urge to take an easy punch.

  “How long have you been following me?” I waited for his smile to vanish; I wasn’t going to let him off this time.

  “Like I said, you were a tough cookie to track.” Leo smacked his lips. “I found you eleven months ago. In your underground cage fighting days,” he added with reproach.

  “Eleven?” I pressed against his hard chest—harder. “Eleven months? Why didn’t you approach me then?”

  “You weren’t ready.”

  “Ready for what?”

  “To come back.” Leo rotated his shoulders, and I released his arms and got my head back in gear.

  “So, you’re saying you’ve been stalking me for nearly a year?” How in the world had I not noticed? I cringed at the thought of someone being there to witness my darkest hours.

  Leo placed his freed hands behind his neck. “Not stalking, looking after you. And boy, did you need it! Trust me, there was many a time I wanted to interfere, many a time I tried to stop you from—”

  “Wait, it was you, wasn’t it? That undercover officer in the park? You took me to the hospital.”

  Leo glanced to the side, and back to me again. There was something raw about his look, and for a second, I felt…embarrassed.

  He pushed himself up with ease, shifting me to the floor.

  “Tony’s friend, Matthew, saw you that night,” I thought out loud. “You came up with the story.”

  “First thing that popped in my head. I admit, very Hollywood.”

  I barely heard him as a memory of Matthew’s words floated to me. Hadn’t he said something about the cop “stroking my hair”?

  I bent a knee and leaned my elbow on it. I couldn’t muster a reason to get up from the floor. Leo ha
d moved back to lean against a chair, one leg straight, one bent. I tried to organise my thoughts. How many more emotions could I go through in one day?

  “You want a joke to lighten the mood?” Leo quipped, and lifted his hands defensively as I shot him an eyeful.

  “Leo,” I said quietly. “I need answers.” I could see fragments of his thought process on his face and for a second it seemed like he wrestled with himself.

  “What do you wanna know?” he finally said.

  “You’re saying you’ve been trailing me for over a year.” I sought for confirmation, and he nodded. “How have I not seen you?”

  “You haven’t exactly been the most observant person lately. It seems the longer you’ve been here the more you’ve tried to block out everything you are.”

  “Was,” I corrected. “I’m not that person anymore.”

  “Precisely. You’ve filled yourself with that rubbish.”

  I let the comment slide. “Why did you stick around so long without delivering the message? You should’ve been back home a long time ago. Surely they’re wondering where you are?”

  “You weren’t ready. You would’ve run a mile if you even suspected I was from Narun. They knew that, so I was allowed the time.”

  “So, now you think I’m ready?”

  Leo grinned. “Getting there…”

  “It’s an awful lot of time to give from your life to follow me around.” Who would follow a stranger around for eleven months?

  The guy is definitely on the wrong side of right in the head.

  “A mission’s a mission.”

  “Flattering. Why didn’t you go back and say I wasn’t ready?”

  “And let you literally throw yourself to your death?”

  I picked up the condemnation in his voice. Or was it my conscience that condemned me?

  Goosebumps covered my forearms, but I hardened myself up to his scrutiny.

  “You didn’t know me… I was just another mission.” I stared him down, but he gave me nothing but a stone-cold wall again.

  “Seeing you here wasn’t the first time I’ve seen you, Kalika.”

  I slowed down my breathing, gritting my teeth. Somehow, I expected that.